Bad Luck Colin

Colin Wanker

It's been a tough week for Neil Warnock. Firstly Crystal Palace were denied a perfectly legitimate goal due to refereeing incompetence, then Bristol scored a 90th minute winner after a Palace defensive fuck up. He then received an apology from referees' head Keith Hackett but was denied the chance to replay the game. This incident brings up two distinct yet equally valid points, which I'll take in turn.

Colin Wanker

Valid point one: goal line technology must be investigated.

Crystal Palace were denied a goal by the ineptitude of the referee and his linesman, ineptitude that could have been avoided if they'd had a fourth official checking a goal line camera replay. This surely would have taken no longer than 20 seconds to investigate, far less time than it took to calm down Warnock so that the game could continue. Instant replays are utilised in both cricket and rugby and in no way slow the game down (to be fair it'd be impossible to slow cricket down).

Had the goal stood then Palace would have been in the driving seat in the game. As it happened they were shaken by an atrocious decision and eventually lost the game. They were effectively cheated out of a possible result by old fashioned thinking and a lack of simple technology. Purists (read: miserable twats) will claim that over the course of a season some decisions will go for you, others against you, and it all evens out in the end. I say: why should we rely on unscientific guess-work such as this? Why not have the technology that gives us on-the-spot definitive answers?

Colin Wanker

Valid point two: Neil Warnock is a cunt.

Now, I almost feel a grain of sympathy for Warnock as for once he's in the right. Neil feels cheated every week, even if they win comfortably, but this time he actually has a case. The problem is instead of stating his case with grace and decorum, he decided to state it like Neil Warnock, i.e. as a mouthy, petulant, big-nosed cry-baby cunt.

Instead of venting his fury solely towards the match officials for fucking up, he decided to aim some of his northern wrath at Bristol manager Gary Johnson. Warnock's argument is that Johnson and his players should have admitted to the ref that it was a goal, or perhaps even allow Palace to walk the ball into the goal as recompense. That would have been a gentlemanly thing to do, sure, but it would also have been stupid. When you're handed a massive stroke of luck you don't throw it away. Johnson did what 99.9% of managers would have done in his position: nothing.

It would be rich of Warnock to claim that Johnson wasn't gentlemanly, after he himself refused to shake the hands of the Bristol players or manager after the game. That highlighted Warnock's typical lack of class and gross self-interest. The true victims of this are the Palace fans. Actually, no, I take that back. The true victims of this are us, the normal people, as we're the ones who will have to listen to Warnock harp on about this for the rest of his fucking life. Cunt.