Bonkers Brum

Birmingham City are a very strange club. And I can prove it.

Cameron Jerome

Exhibit A) This week they handed striker Cameron Jerome a new five year deal, despite him only managing to find the net nine times last term. Knowing, as I do, many Birmingham City supporters I know that Jerome is thought by the fans to be a useless piece of shit. The general consensus is that he doesn't work hard, doesn't run enough and couldn't hit a cow's arse with a banjo. Yet Alex McLeish believes him a Premier League worthy forward.

Barry Ferguson

Exhibit B) They are in final talks to buy Barry Ferguson. This is the same Barry Ferguson who got pissed up before a Scotland World Cup qualifier against Iceland. The same Barry Ferguson who then went on to make petulant V-sign gestures to the crowd in that same match, effectively ending his international career. Oh, and the same Barry Ferguson who in his first stint in the Premiership was an embarrassing failure and was soon shipped back to Rangers, leaving Blackburn with a £3m loss. Yet Alex McLeish believes him a Premier League worthy midfielder.

Joey Barton

Exhibit C) They are rumoured to be interested in bringing in Joey Barton on loan. This is the same Joey Barton who stubbed out a cigar in a team mate's eye. The same Joey Barton who punched a 15-year-old Everton fan. The same Joey Barton who received a suspended prison sentence for beating the shit out of a team mate on the training pitch. The same Joey Barton who served two months in nick for assault on a 16-year-old. Yet Alex McLeish believes him not to be a subhuman violent scumbag who has no right to the luxury of being a professional footballer, and should be behind bars for the good of society.

Jeff Hall Memorial Clock

There is much more evidence of Birmingham City's strangeness: signing expensive unproven Ecuadorians, installing undersoil heating about 20 years after every other club, the world's smallest clock, Karen Brady. The list goes on, but surely the Joey Barton rumour is the strangest. Can you imagine Barton and Lee Bowyer in the same side? They'd be sent off every week for kicking the living piss out of one another. Actually, that's not a bad idea. Sign him up McLeish.